


Christmas Ponderings

by EnsorcelledReader



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:03:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5088247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnsorcelledReader/pseuds/EnsorcelledReader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Linda065cliva on fanfiction.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Check out Linda here: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5862375/
> 
> And her AWESOME ART (she made pictures for my stories Echo and Don't You See) here:http://linda065cliva.deviantart.com/

The fire crackled in the corner. Warmth filling the space. A Christmas tree in the opposite corner, gifts decorating the ground beneath it. A troll curled up on the couch, forced into a festive sweater by his not-mother and her dancestor. He worried about cultural appropriation. Trolls were the dominant culture now, there were three times as many trolls as there were humans. Didn’t seem right, however Kanaya talked to the humans, they started making sad faces that he wouldn’t join in for their celebration. If they want it, then everything is great, right?

They weren’t around now though. It was just him and Cronus. The male had been a really good matesprit. Kankri was actually surprised. All that bravado and arrogance melted away when they first kissed. The sea-dweller (well, not so much anymore) was shy and nervous, yet eager. It was a strange awkward kiss, but they made it work. That was just short of a year ago, on New Year’s Day. Another human tradition that Kankri had to be persuaded into. Just like all the others throughout the year. Now that he thinks about, maybe he should just stop worrying about it. The humans seemed to want their holidays celebrated by everyone. So who was Kankri to be the downer? Cronus just went with everything and enjoyed himself, the others seemed to enjoy his enthusiasm. Although, he considers himself a human, so that’s not really a fair comparison. Kankri didn’t have species dysphoria. He didn’t long to be a human like Cronus. He longed to remain _with_ Cronus though.

Cronus had never pressured him to break his vows, for a while Kankri was convinced they could have a happy, sexless relationship. And that would probably be the case, if it weren’t for the fact Kankri w _anted_ his boyfriend. He had been able to resist his urges for the past several months. Since March, when he first felt that primal pull towards his matesprit. It wasn’t very hard to ignore at first, just shift thoughts; focus on something else. However, it became harder and harder to quell the desire as the year went on. Summer was particularly hard. Cronus had been so happy, everyone going to the beach and playing in the water. He was able to show off his body, and the water that glistened on his torso… Kankri shuddered at the thought. That was a particularly difficult few months. He had managed to fight his urges though. Still, as time has gone on, he thought it might not be so bad to break his vows. Cronus would be patient and let him take things at his own pace. They didn’t have to rush into the act.

Speaking of which, his boyfriend (as the humans put it), walked into the room, a smirk on his face. “What cha thinking ‘bout chief?” Kankri responded with a fifteen minute speech about cultural appropriation and how he still wasn’t sure his engagement in “ugly Christmas sweaters” was right. While he had rectified the issue in his mind, he just needed something to say that wasn’t the real issue. He didn’t want to confuse Cronus with his waffling until he had decided what he was going to do.

The bard of hope made that look that he always made when Kankri launched into one of his tirades, loving amusement. That look that said, “I know this means a lot to you, but you are too cute when you get worked up. At the same time I’m trying to show you respect you deserve.” Kankri started to circle in his rants, he usually does. Most people don’t detect it because he says the same thing with different language, Cronus had been through enough of his lectures to know when it was happening. This was the point when Kankri had comprised previously that he could interrupt. He did so with a soft peck on the nose. Kankri hadn’t expected it. Such a tender, loving gesture. He was smiling. “Sorry, I just wanted to try it. Are you mad?” The seer of blood wasn’t mad, what’s this feeling? He so rarely felt like this it was hard to place the word to the experience. Red rising to his face, he pulled up his sweater hiding himself. Bashful, that was it. “Aw, I’m sorry! I just wanted to try something new. Showing affection the same way every time gets old. You’re kind of picky about PDA, not that I’m upset! I just, I just thought it’d be okay.”

Kankri’s face was now as red as his sweater. “No, Cronus it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it is all. Although, you really should ask permission first before you do such things. Just because we are in a relationship doesn’t mean that consent is implied.”

Cronus realized Kankri’s true feelings. He always did this when he liked something. Say it’s okay and then chastise himself or someone else. Cronus pulled him into a hug, rants be damned. And it was these loving gestures, this closeness, this tender intimacy that made Kankri want to take things further. He released his sweater, grabbing onto Cronus’s arm to steady himself, his thoughts overwhelming him now. Maybe he shouldn’t think so much about whether he was breaking his vows or not and just focus on what feels right. And Cronus’s chest and arms around him felt nice. He pulled away just a little, kissing his matesprit. Lips pressed against each other, passion flooding their senses. Kankir hesitantly let his tongue slip out asking for entrance. The first time he had ever done so. The two had made-out before, but Cronus always initiated. Kankri made a show of compromising in lieu of sex, but the truth was, he was scared. Scared of his own feelings, of letting go of his principles, of letting Cronus so close to his heart.

Cronus graciously accepted the appendage into his mouth. Letting Kankri explore before taking his turn. He could tell the lecturer had been preoccupied recently. Not sure what was going through that mind of his, but he could turn the smallest issue into a complete dissertation in his head. He could too caught up in his of rigidity that way. Cronus would stay near though and be Kankri’s support for whatever he was going through. He human-loved this troll, and would do everything he could to make him happy.


	2. Chapter 2

The two trolls were in front of the fire. It was Christmas night. Kankri had been thinking hard about his and Cronus’ relationship. He had been hesitant to talk about it, but Cronus seemed to be growing concerned ever since that night last week when he was ranting about the Christmas sweaters. Kankri thought he had covered up his inner turmoil perfectly, but Cronus knew him too well. He could tell Kankri was dealing with something. He wanted to help, and had offered a sympathetic ear on more than one occasion. It wasn’t until they were cuddling in front of the fire, his matesprite’s arm lovingly around him that he realized…times like this were the only times he felt completely at ease. No thoughts of social justice or lecturing came to his mind, he didn’t even feel the impulse. And it was this relaxation that facilitated a more primal feeling within him.

He did his best to suppress it at first. He had been thinking about Cronus and his wanting to take things further, he was pretty sure he wanted to take it a step further. He wanted to break his vow of celibacy. He was nervous though, about so many things. What if he chickened out? What if it became too much? What if the intimacy sex created became too much for either of them? Kankri didn’t want to lose what he had. …what if he was bad at it? What would Cronus think? Although it would be unfair for Cronus to judge too harshly given his lack of practice at it. Still….so many things could go wrong. It was terrifying.

Cronus could tell his boyfriend was struggling with something, he just wished he could figure out what it was! He wanted to help. Did Kankri think he would mess something up? Had Cronus been coming on too strong lately? Kankri seemed more into their kissing sessions recently. He hadn’t complained when Cronus would introduce his tongue into the equation or is his hands wandered a little from their designated station on his waist. He had been careful to avoid the horns and grubscars, he really didn’t want Kankri feeling uncomfortable.

“Hey…chief?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been going through something lately, I don’t know what it is, but you’ve been acting different. I just wanted to say that if I’ve made you uncomfortable in any way you can tell me. I mean you’re usually pretty upfront if I cross a line, but, I don’t know I just want to make sure you know you could say something. I’m all ears if you need to talk too.”

“…”

“Really, nothing is taboo, say anything you want.”

“…I…think…”

“Yeah?” A gentle coaxing.

“I think I want to have sex with you.” There it was, blunt as could be. Blunt honesty was probably best in this sort of situation. Best not muddle anything.

Cronus was thrown for a loop, he was expecting a break-up conversation before he was expecting that. “Like, right now.”

For some reason the proposition gave Kankri the most intense anxiety, he wanted to, yes, but he was also scared of everything it would bring. Cronus gently cupped the red-blood’s hands in his. Pressing their foreheads together. “It’s okay chief, we can go at your pace. If it’s too much just say stop and I will in an instant.”

And just like that, the anxiety was gone, well, for the most part. The two kissed passionately, tongues meeting in a battle before Kankri quickly submitted. Cronus shifted, hands on Kankri’s back easing his to the floor, hovering above him. He just wanted to make his lecturing matesprit feel confident and good about what they were doing. Pulling away, trailing gentle kisses down Kankri’s neck before reaching his collarbone. He looked up to notice Kankri’s breath had already quickened and he was flushing red. And Cronus realized that he rather liked the way it looked on Kankri. Sucking on the collar bone, he was rewarded with a muffled moan. Glancing up once more he saw Kankri covering his mouth, embarrassed, which was ridiculous. Cronus thought for a moment of smacking the hand away from his matesprit’s mouth, but decided against it. Kankri was clearly uncomfortable, yet trying to act comfortable for Cronus’ sake. Returning to the blood-player’s face kissing the back of the hand that was covering the usually ever-talking-mouth. Kankri removed his hand and kissed Cronus in return. Realizing that perhaps a different tact was in order, Cronus really did want Kankri to be comfortable. Keeping the kiss chaste and comforting, Cronus let his hands ghost on the grubscars of the one beneath him. Hitched breath followed, the eyes he looked into were half lidded with want. He was doing it right this time, he could tell. Pressing a little harder on the sensitive area, as gasp was his present this time. He allowed his tongue to be re-introduced, not as aggressive though. A little nipping at those now rosy lips. Kankri’s hands now in the sea-dweller’s hair, a shy inching towards the horns. Cronus hummed in response, giving Kankri a little more confidence.

He gently caressed the horns of the one above him, a loud moan, breaking their kiss before violet lips and tongue were back on him. The seer found he quite liked the sound, and wished to hear it again. He let his finger trace from the base of Cronus’ horn, to its very tip. Causing another moan and shudder from the one above him. Cronus took Kankri’s ministrations as permission to further his own. Leaving one hand in place he let another wander further south, rubbing the lecturer’s wriggling bulge through his high-waist pants. Kankri moaned and Cronus rubbed a little harder, but stopped when he felt a push on his shoulders. “Stop”

“Chief, I’m sorry, you seemed to be enjoying it. I wasn’t trying to push you too far.”

“Don’t worry Cronus, I just….”

“Too much?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be chief. If you’re not ready, there’s no reason to push yourself.”

“I just…” Tender hands cupped his face, a gentle kiss on his nose, and a grin from the one facing him.

“The fact that you were even willing to try, that you felt that strongly about me and wanted to break your vows because of me….that’s the best present you could give me.” Bringing his matesprit into a bone-crushing hug, shower him with kisses. The two fell asleep in front of the fire, the warmth covering their bodies, matched only by the warmth in their hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is actually going to be a three-part fic. I didn't want this to go into M territory really, but now I think it kind of needs to. So, I'll be posting a sequel taking place on either Cronus' birthday or Valentine's Day for their true first time. It'll only be a one shot and I'll try to post it by the end of this month.

**Author's Note:**

> I may make this a two shot. I haven't decided.


End file.
